Friday, 6 June 2014

Success Recount

You are going to write a descriptive recount, telling our audience about a time you were successful.  
Describe a time we were successful
Success Criteria
Have you remembered…
- start with something that was said or thought
- Use punctuation (capital letters to start sentences and names and fullstops to end)
- to put everything in the right order
- use describing words and lots of detail.
- Re-read it to check it makes sense

“We are here we are here”. I shouted out. I put on my skates. Then I hopped on the ice. My uncle helped me out with the ice because it was slippery. Last but not least I was skating on my very own.

Firstly the skates were hot shiny pink with light blue laces. They felt like there were pink worms growing out of my feet and they smelled like dirty socks. I tried to see if I could walk on the hard white ground with them but I couldn't, It was to hard for me.
Secondly the ice that I hopped on was very slippery and it looked like it was growing cold steam out of it . The ice had scratches everywhere.

Thirdly My uncle helped me out because I couldn't do it on my own and i fell hard on the ice  when I stepped on it.  My uncle showed me how to do it when i was sitting down on the seats, he was a fantastic skater by the looks from my eyes

Fourthly I said to my uncle “I want to try do it by myself” and I did I went for a lap around the sides. Then I tried to do it in the middle, and…..  I DID IT!  I said to myself and my uncle  he took a photo and then we went home. 

I was going to burst in the car because that was my first time. I was thinking to myself “I want to be a professional skater when I am bigger.”  

1 comment:

  1. I love your story it is really detailed and special. Next time you should change the colour of the WALT so that your writing stands out.