Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Show don't Tell

This week we have been looking at Show don't tell.Our WALT: Describe hiding without telling the audience that we are hiding 

Create our writing to make it interesting to our reader

“You can’t find me.” “You can’t find me.” I whispered out from in the basement.  It was pitch black and It felt like there was a creep crawly spider crawling up my  back.  The life zoomed right out of me when I heard tiny footsteps coming my way.  

I was lucky when Rose  tipped toed right passed me.  I was itchy but I couldn't move.  I had to move I just had to.  I knocked over a pot. “I hope she didn't hear that”.   

After 20 minutes “OMG” I can hear everyone whispering I think everyone is out.  I waited 10 more minutes. I heard everyone saying “The game is over so you can come out now”.

I had to go out.  I put my hand on the knob but someone turned it for me.  Rose blasted in my ear “I CAUGHT YOU SO YOUR OUT NOW”.  At last one of them found me. They whispered in each others ears “Kiana was the  hardest one to find”.  I was thinking in my head “I wonder if it will take them that long to find me again”.


  1. Kia ora Kiana. I enjoyed reading this, I could feel your fear of being in a dark space with creepy crawlies around you. Tu meke.
    From Mrs Morgan-French

    1. Thanks Room 9 and What a nice comment